Parenting

Huffing – Your Child can Die

By: admin
Published March 28th 2011, in Substance Abuse

And he huffed and he puffed, but he could not blow the house down. The three little pigs are one of those fairy tales that we tell our little innocent children to teach them to make the right wise decisions in life. Unfortunately “huffing”, “sniffing” and “bagging” has got nothing to do with the three little pigs and are definitely not a wise decision being made by our children.

How do they do it?

They hold the product directly to their mouths and inhale the contents.
A cloth can be placed over the product to act as a filter. The contents are then inhaled through the cloth.
Sometimes they soak a rag with the chemical, which is then held to their face or sometimes even stuffed into their mouths, to be inhaled.

This trend is particularly disturbing as 22% of children who try it for the first time die. Huffing is very popular under children between the ages of 12 to 14, but children as young as 6 to 8 years old have been found to”innocently” experiment with different household chemicals. A recent study in the USA found that 20% of all 8th Graders have on one or more occasions participated in huffing.

Cardiac arrest is the most common cause of death, but children also die as a result of suffocation, burns and choking. Due to the depression that follow the euphoria, many children commit suicide. Children who are lucky enough not to pass away suffer a variety of different damages to their bodies:

Permanent brain damage
Impaired concentration
Hearing loss
Loss of coordination
Lung, heart, liver and kidney damage.

Parents should be on the look out for the following signs that might indicate that your child might be abusing inhalants:

A chemical odor on your child’s breath and clothing is one of the most tell tale signs. Inhalants can take up to two weeks to leave the body, mostly through exhaling.
Keep a look out for stains on your child’s clothing.
Spots and sores around the mouth can be an indicator of abuse.
Children who abuse inhalants are often complaining of nausea.
They have a lack of appetite.
Weight loss due to lack of appetite and nausea are common.
They seem restless and nervous, and can have outbursts of anger.
If your child seem drunk, dazed or have glassy eyes, it is important to get him to a medical practitioner immediately.

A simple preventative measure is to talk to your child about huffing. Children are 36% less likely to try this deathly trend when their parents discuss it with them. An open and honest relationship with your child will definitely pay off.

For a comprehensive list chemicals children abuse visit: Chemicals

More Mealtime Battles

By: admin
Published March 9th 2011, in Oral Defensiveness

Do you shudder when you have to think of what to prepare for dinner tonight? I do. I have a picky eater at home and end up feeling like a short order cook, just to ensure that she eats something.

In my continuous search for solutions I discovered that we get four different types of picky eaters:

The children who do not want to try new food
Children who will only eat certain foods
Children who spend a long time at the table without actually eating anything and
Children who refuse certain colours or textures when it comes to eating food.

Shock, horror – she falls into all four categories! Jemma will not try anything new, she will only eat starchy food and meat, she will spend an inordinate amount of time at the table to just take two bites of her food and she definitely refuses anything green and crunchy.

Oral defensiveness is apparently the leading cause of being a picky eater at the dining room table. Children who are orally defensive often exhibit some of the following signs:

They only eat a limited variety of food
They are extremely reluctant to try new food types
These children only eat soft or pureed food still after the age of two
Children who are orally defensive often gag on their food
They choke easily or have difficulty sucking, chewing or swallowing
They often over stuff their mouths with food (which then can lead to gagging or choking)
These children do not like brushing teeth and can have a fear of the dentist and any dental procedure
They often prefer only hot food or only cold food
They tend to dislike toothpaste and mouthwash
They avoid seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty food and would rather eat bland food.

If your child, like mine, seems to be orally defensive; here are some tips on how to overcome this sensitivity:

Forget what you learned as a child and allow your child to play with his food.
It might help to grind up the food that the rest of the family is having to get her used to different tastes without having to deal with different textures.
When you have found a favourite food, try to introduce similar foods. If for example your little one likes cheese pizza expand his repertoire slowly by adding ham to the pizza.
Usually it would be seen as a bad thing, but with orally defensive children distractions like a toy or the television, can be helpful! It draws his full attention away from what he is hesitant to do.
Bribery is a useful tool. Agree beforehand that if he tastes, chews or swallow a bit of something new – he can receive an agreed upon reward. It is all in an effort to expose him to new tastes and textures.
A reward chart in a noticeable spot in the house can be helpful. If he can see more and more stickers added on a chart on the fridge, he should become more confident and therefore more adventurous.
A limited choice will give your child a sense of control over what he puts into his mouth.
Try to include different textures on his plate of food, but remember to keep the portions of new foods small.
Give your child free reign of condiments – if he eats the peas only when covered in tomato sauce, so be it.
Praise, praise and praise your child even for the smallest effort. Do not scold him if he does not succeed, scolding will lead to negative associations with food.
Respect your child’s appetite – do not force him to eat if he is not hungry.
Stick to a routine where there are no snacks for at least an hour before mealtime
Have patience – only with repeated exposure of new foods will you succeed.
Make mealtime fun! Use a cookie cutter do make different shapes, give dips with meals, or give breakfast for dinner.
Get your child involved in the shopping, let him choose something that he wants to try out.
It is important that you set the example of healthy eating habits – if you do not eat vegetables, you cannot expect it of him.
Sometimes healthy bits can be disguised in favourite food – who will notice the blend of carrots and baby marrow in spaghetti bolognaise?
Do not become a short order cook for your child.

Many parents with children that are picky eaters are worried about their child’s weight and whether they are getting in all the minerals and vitamins that they need to grow and function. A good target to set for your child is to try and cover all the food groups in one week and not in one day. If you are unsure of what a child should be having in a period of a week, here is a reminder:

Bread, Cereal, Rice and Pasta (6 – 11 servings)
Fruit (2 – 4 servings)
Veg (2 – 4 servings)
Milk, Yoghurt and Cheese (2-3 servings)
Meat, Poultry, Fish, Dry Beans, Eggs and Nuts (2 -3 servings)
Fats, Oils and Sweets (sparingly)

Giving a multi-vitamin, eases many parents’ worries. If your child is growing and happy, generally there should not be anything to be worried about!

Getting your Child of the Couch

By: admin
Published March 9th 2011, in Exercise, Health

Do you have to beg your children to go outside and play? Are they always playing on their Nintendo, PSP, Wii, the computer or on their cell phones? Children nowadays are spoilt with their entertainment options – they do not have to lift more than a finger to switch on the TV, or any of the other gadgets available with the promise of hours of fun. I know that when we were younger we could not wait to finish our homework to go outside to swim, jump on the trampoline, kick the ball with friends or just run around chasing the lazy dog.

My children have many activities that are structured to teach them wonderful new skills for instance horse riding, music and ballet. Even though they do enjoy these activities, they have discovered a new activity that put smiles on their faces and give them a better workout than any of their other activities. Zumbatomics get their heart rates up and their feet tapping. Zumbatomics is a unique program for children from the age of 4 to 12. It combines urban dance styles with the reggaeton, hip hop and pop dancing. In no time will they find themselves singing along to Latin American music while they are learning new exciting dance moves. And most of all Zumbatomics is all about fun!

A class starts of with a fun dance that is learned in a follow the leader kind of way. All they have to do is to copy their instructor’s funky moves, which will be age appropriate. After the first dance they learn some new simple steps which will be used in a new dance. After having the opportunity to practice the moves they will be rewarded with the feeling of success when the steps get combined with the music. All the classes end of with a fun game which encourages movement and smiling!

Besides the fun aspect of Zumbatomics, there are many benefits for your child to be involved in this form of exercise:

During a Zumbatomics session your child’s heart rate will become elevated and they will burn calories.
It is a whole body workout. From the neck and shoulders to their feet. Zumbatomics give children a hip, abdominal, thigh and buttocks workout.
Overall flexibility and beautiful posture will improve.
Coordination increases. * Your child’s balance will improve.
With every class you will notice how your child’s endurance levels increase as they become fitter.
Children involved in Zumbatomics have faster reaction times when they participate in other forms of sport.
Their confidence and self-esteem improves dramatically.
These children sleep better than children who do not take part in similar exercise.
They quickly learn to focus and concentrate.
Children in a class get the opportunity to socialize and work together in teams.
Even though it is fun, the class is disciplined and they have to adhere to that.
Zumbatomics increases your child’s bone density and muscle tone.
Your child will get the chance to express their emotions through creative movement.
There is no form of evaluation that could make a child feel pressured to perform.
Children start to feel the music in their bones.

So if you are trying to get your couch potato active without threats, begging and pleading – take him or her to a Zumbatomics class and never look back! Let them join the internationally growing Zumba party!

Help your Child Adjust to Divorce

By: lee
Published January 18th 2011, in Divorced Parenting, Parenting

Divorce signals the end of a marriage where former spouses continue on different paths into their separate futures. When there are children born in the marriage, things tend to become a little more complicated. You can become single again, but you will always remain a parent. Divorce therefore means that the parental team is split up with one parent having to operate mostly off site. Divorced parents find them in a position where they have to parent apart, but still together.

Every phase of divorce will not only challenge the adults, but also put children in a position where they have to adjust to a new ideas and routines:

Emotional Divorce: Emotional divorce takes place when the decision is made to get a divorce. Parents usually know when divorce becomes inevitable, but for most young children this might come as a complete shock.
Legal Divorce: This is when the couple part ways and start their new separate lives.
Economic Divorce: For most couples readjusting after divorce means a drop in income with the resulting change in lifestyle.
C0-parenting Divorce: This is the phase of divorce where parents and children have to come to terms with the demands of divorced parenting.
Community Divorce: Community divorce is the phase where parents and children lose friendships due to their new status as a divorcee.
Psychic Divorce: This is the stage where the former married person adjusts to not being married anymore. This mental shift in the parents affects children in different ways .

There is no clear timeline for the different phases of divorce, some can happen simultaneously and some not at all.

Telling the children about the impending divorce is probably one of the most difficult tasks to perform. No matter what the age of the child, it remains a traumatic event for both parents and child alike. The following should be taken into consideration:

Children should only be told of the divorce once the final decision is made.
Children should be told with both parents present – if one parent has a better relationship with the children she should be informing the children.
It is important that no blame is allocated to one parent and that the children are not expected to choose sides. Children should be told that even though their parents are getting divorced, they are not getting divorced from either parent.
Children should be told about the divorce where there is no time limit on the amount of time parents have available to the children. Children will feel confused and sad and need adults at hand to answer their questions and give consolation.
A child will worry about how his life will change – try to create realistic expectations about what the future will hold for him.
Of utmost importance is to assure your child of your continued love for him and that he is not to blame for the divorce.

A child’s reaction to this news will differ according to age, gender and history of coping with stress.

Younger children will probably experience divorce as more confusing and react more out due to the upset in their normal routine. Pre-adolescent and adolescent children usually turn to their peers and tend to repress their feeling around the divorce.
The more severe the drop in socio-economic status, the harder it is for children to adjust to post divorce life.
The more the child is drawn into the marital conflict the more confusion, frustration, anger and loyalty conflict he will experience.
If the parent-child relationship was bad before the divorce, it will probably deteriorate even more after divorce.
The more conflict over parenting issues, the harder it will be for your child to adjust successfully to his new life.
The more continued conflict between the parents the more the child will experience emotional distress which will hamper his adjustment.
When one or both of the parents get remarried and start new families, it might leave your child wondering exactly where he is supposed to fit in. If one parent moves on with his/her life and spend less time with the child, the child might be mourning the perceived loss of that parent.

The most beneficial tool a divorcing couple can implement is ACTIVE LISTENING. Active listening involves not only listening to the words your child uses, but also to what is not being said and the emotions behind it. Most children experience anger, confusion, guilt and depression as a reaction to divorce and these emotions should be addressed in order to help with his adjustment to a new home environment, social environment and school functioning.

Children with Pets

By: lee
Published January 13th 2011, in Owning Pets, Parenting

You have lost the battle. You have surrendered, because even as parents we do not ever lose that fluttering inside at the thought of having a puppy or kitten. It is that “awwww” feeling we get when we see babies of all different species!

There are many advantages for a child to own a pet. Having to look after a pet – feeding, grooming and playing with him, teaches a child responsibility. A pet teaches a child how to behave appropriately towards the puppy or kitten and to allow others to also play with it. In other words children learn socially acceptable behavior and tend to share more easily. A pet can become a confidant, privy to their innermost secrets and fears. These children learn to trust others and be as loyal as man’s best friend is to them.

Pets teach children some very important life lessons – for instance how to deal with birth, death and illness. It establishes a connection and respect for nature.

These advantages are real and we do think of them over and over again, trying to reinforce the goodness of animals in your child’s life, especially when you have to clean up the puddle on the kitchen floor…

The realities of owning a pet includes:

Food . Any animal deserves the best food available and this comes at a cost. Whether you buy specially designed pet food or cook the food yourself – it is not free!
Grooming . All animals need grooming, you need the right tools and time to take care of it.
Exercise . You need the time and space to ensure that your pet gets sufficient exercise and play time with you.
Animals grow up . All puppies and kittens grow into mature dogs and cats. Be sure that you are willing to take care of the needs of a grown animal. In other words when the cuteness factor diminishes you have to love and respect your maturing animal.
Spaying or neutering . If you do not want to end up being the local pet shop, you have to consider spaying your cat or dog. Seeing the amount of homeless pets, I think it is the responsible thing to do, although it will cost you in vet bills.
The bucket stops at you . At the end of the day, despite all the promises your child made, you have to ensure that the pet is taken care of. Children do need reminding and supervision when it comes to taking care of a pet. You have to teach your child to respect your pet, how to handle him and in which ways his physical needs have to be met.

Enjoy the wonder of nature and use your beloved pet to teach your child about life, love and respect.

How Many Activities are too Many?

By: lee
Published November 23rd 2010, in Extracurricular Activities, Parenting

As we are ending off the year’s extracurricular activities for our children – we are giving a sigh of relief. We are tired of playing glorified chauffeur and our children are falling over from exhaustion. This year we had to juggle time slots for ballet, piano, softball, netball, drama and horse riding for my two girls. Before committing to some new and some old activities for next year, I decided to rethink how many activities are enough for my children and how many are too many for me.

By allowing no activities would be like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Extracurricular activities hold certain benefits for your child. Firstly it has been shown that activities outside school make children less prone to negative peer pressure and increases their self-esteem. It has been shown to boost academic performance, because it gives the child a sense of achievement. Some activities, especially sport, help children with the release of frustration in a healthy way. Social skills develop and can get honed in extracurricular activities. Your child gets the opportunity to discover their talents, abilities and interests.

Too many activities, though, can lead to increased stress and anxiety levels. Children who are constantly busy with structured activities experience more physical ailments than children who have enough free time. Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld believes that we as parents fall into the trap of overscheduling our children’s free time. He says that our children fall victim to our “hyper-parenting”. We are so scared that our children will lose out on opportunities, or not learn certain skills, or fall behind their peers that we cave into parent peer pressure. Children need free time to play, relax, read and spend time with their family. Our children have become so overscheduled that given the opportunity to do anything with their free time they do not know how to keep themselves busy.

Points to consider when deciding on extracurricular activities:

We have to set limits to the amount of activities allowed.
Allow your child to be involved in the decision making process.
Consider the social, emotional and physical skills that your child can learn from this activity.
Is the activity age appropriate?
Most importantly – does your child enjoy this activity on a regular basis?
Give your child enough time to be unproductive.
Realize that there are no one correct way to parent your child. We do not have to push our child to keep up with all the activities the Jones child is doing.
Keep a look out for signs of stress in your child. A stressed child do not have enough down time to recuperate.
As a rule of thumb one activity per afternoon is more than enough.
Homework must always remain priority one and should not suffer due to outside obligations.
Both parent and child should get enough rest to function properly throughout a week.

Remember that as a parent you have the right to put your foot down if you feel that your child is taking on too much, or that it is not affordable or even if the carting around to all the different activities is too much for you. Your child will one day remember family moments fondly – not rushing around from one thing to the next.

How to Deal with Back Chatting

By: lee
Published November 15th 2010, in Discipline, Parenting, Talking Back

Back chatting is probably an universal parental irritant. It infuriates parents all over the globe every day. We see it as an undermining of our authority, whilst it is actually an assertion of your child’s independence. Again, a milestone for our child, which feels like it is throwing everything that you achieved disciplinary wise up to now, upside down. You graduate from temper tantrums to only face back chatting soon…

How can we deal effectively with our children talking back to us?

It is important to remember the power of modeling behavior. If you consistently speak to your child the way you want her to speak to you, it will become easier for your child to imitate good communication skills.
It is important that both you and your child have the same understanding of what it means to “back chat”. I think back chatting consists of two components. The first component is repeating. This is when your child repeats the same request over and over again, despite the fact that you have already given your answer. The second component is complaining. Complaining about the answer or instruction you have given also counts as back chatting.
As a parent you have to be able to ignore requests to change your answer. If you give in to back chatting your child has won the battle, and will in future carry on until you give in again.
Positive communication and acceptance of instructions and answers should consistently be praised. Ensure that the positive attention starts to outweigh the negative attention that follows on back chatting.

We live in a society where we expect our children to express themselves as individuals, to give opinions and debate issues – we therefore cannot expect of them to behave differently in the house. This does not mean that they can determine their own rules or not listen to us as parents, we are after all the authority bearers in the house. I believe that parents should be willing to hear a child’s reasons for not agreeing with an answer or instruction out completely, before making a final determination. As parents, we should also be big enough to admit and reconsider when our child’s arguments are valid and we find we did not think our answer through completely. Lastly, we should have the determination to stick consistently to a well deserved “no”.

Certain rules should be adhered to when going into a discussion around a decision:

If your child is not happy with a decision, they are not allowed to become rude in any way what so ever.
No screaming, yelling and name calling is allowed under any circumstances.
Everyone should be allowed to finish their sentences.
No sarcasm is allowed from any party.
When the parent says that it is the end of the discussion, no more arguments or complaining will be tolerated.

Tips for dealing with back chatting:

Stop the conversation as soon as your child becomes disrespectful. Walk away, come back later and enforce the consequences of talking back to you as parent.
Consequences can be time-out, fines, revoking of privileges or toys, etc.
Explain to your child why certain phrases are disrespectful – we should not automatically assume they understand phrases in the same manner as we do.
Sometimes it is helpful to give a choice, but then you have to refrain from allowing a third option.
Consequences of repeated back chatting should increase in seriousness.

Teaching your child these principles in the home, will benefit her in school, friendships, relationships and future employment. Good luck, nobody said it was going to be easy!

Leaving your Baby with a Sitter

By: lee
Published September 2nd 2010, in Babysitter Checklist, Parenting

If you do not have the luxury of having grandparents, aunts, uncles or good friends who are willing to baby sit, you might need to make use of a baby sitting service for a much deserved break occasionally. Even if we know and trust the person we are asking to look after your baby, they might not be familiar with baby’s routine and personality. In order to lower your stress levels, boost the baby sitter’s confidence and make baby as comfortable as possible, make sure to address the following issues:

Make sure that the sitter knows what calms your baby – rocking, a song, the mobile or maybe a stroll in the pram.
She has to know what your baby’s favourite toy is.
Make sure that they know that your baby should always sleep face up with no pillows or duvet.
Show them the way your baby is easiest burped – over the shoulder, sitting up, after feedings or during feeds.
How to change and clean your baby, whether you use wipes or cotton wool, a nappy rash ointment and where all the supplies are kept.
Show the sitter where extra clothes are kept in case of a serious mess.
How to prepare a bottle of formula, or where to get the expressed milk. Very important to give exact instructions on heating the milk.
Make sure that the sitter knows what your baby can and cannot eat/drink.
The sitter should no not to administer any medication without consulting with you first. If you are not available she must consult with a doctor. Always leave your doctor’s number, because she is familiar with your baby’s medical history.
If the babysitter has to bath your baby, make sure she will never leave baby unattended and that the water temperature should be perfect. Have everything she will need ready for her – clean nappy, cream, cloth, soap, towel and clean set of clothes.
Make sure the babysitter knows your baby’s habits – eg. cannot fall asleep in the dark, spits up a lot, cries when wet, etc.
The babysitter should know where the first aid kit is.
Where a torch or candles can be found.
The sitter should know who may and may not visit when you are not at home and what to do in case someone who is not cleared makes an appearance.

You should leave the following for your babysitter:

Telephone numbers: Yours, your partner’s, where you can be reached, a neighbour, grandparents, poison control centre and the doctor.
The address of the nearest emergency room and how to get there.
A signed consent form authorizing medical care within specific limits, if you cannot be reached.

All this information can be used as your babysitter checklist.

Breastdfeeding Myths Busted

By: lee
Published September 1st 2010, in Breastfeeding, Breastfeeding Myths, Nutrition

Myth 1: You cannot breastfeed if you have small breasts or flat nipples.

Fact: Outward appearance of your breasts does not affect a mother’s ability to produce and dispense milk to her baby. Breasts of all shapes and sizes can feed a hungry baby.

Myth 2: Breastfeeding is a lot of effort

Fact: Once you get the hang of breastfeeding it is a lot easier that bottle feeding a baby. Breast milk is ready when a baby needs it – it does not have to be measured or heated to the right temperature. You do not have to pack sterilized bottles and teats and enough formula to keep your baby going for a day when you go on outings.

Myth 3: Breastfeeding ties you down

Fact: Yes, breastfeeding is more suited for moms who plan to spend most of the time with their baby. This does not mean, though, that working moms cannot express milk for their babies or supplement with formula feeds when she is not around.

Myth 4: Breastfeeding will be the end of beautiful breasts

Fact: Pregnancy and not breastfeeding is to blame for the change in the shape of your breasts. Breasts prepare for lactation whether you prepare to breast feed or not. Excessive weight gain, genes, poor support of your breasts during pregnancy and your age can add to the changes in your breasts. Breastfeeding is not the culprit.

Myth 5: It did not work the first time, therefore will not work the second time

Fact: Research proves that with a second child a mother will produce more milk and have an easier time breastfeeding than the first time around. Try and try again!

Myth 6: Breastfeeding excludes the father

Fact: A father does not have to breastfeed a baby to bond with him. Bottlefeeding, bathing, nappy changing, holding, rocking and playing provides enough opportunities for a dad to form a strong bond with his baby.

Stop Mosquito Bites

By: lee
Published August 24th 2010, in Health, Mosquito Repellents

So here are the solutions for of us that cannot bear the itching and scratching that these pesky creatures cause. I suggest natural solutions instead of using brandnames that contain DEET, because the verdict is still out on the long term effects on our children’s health and the environment.

Believe it or not:

Spraying amber colored mouthwash in the area you are going to be stops mosquitoes from coming close to you.
Misting a mixture of water and vanilla extract especially in outside areas helps to keep mozzies at bay.
Citronella oil and candles have long been known to work effectively.
Eat enough garlic and the mosquito will rather make a meal out of your neighbour.
Long sleeves, long pants all in a light color repels mosquitoes, they are actually drawn to darker colors.
The following herbal oils work very well and longer than products with DEET:

Eucalyptus
Lemongrass
Cinnamon
Castor
Rosemary
Cedar
Peppermint.

Remember to reapply the oils every two hours to keep yourself and your kids bite free!

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