In my continuous search for solutions I discovered that we get four different types of picky eaters:

• The children who do not want to try new food
• Children who will only eat certain foods
• Children who spend a long time at the table without actually eating anything and
• Children who refuse certain colours or textures when it comes to eating food.

Shock,  horror – she falls into all four categories!  Jemma will not try anything new, she will only eat starchy food and meat, she will spend an inordinate amount of time at the table to just take two bites of her food and she definitely refuses anything green and crunchy.

Oral defensiveness is apparently the leading cause of being a picky eater at the dining room table. Children who are orally defensive often exhibit some of the following signs:

• They only eat a limited variety of food
• They are extremely reluctant to try new food types
• These children only eat soft or pureed food still after the age of two
• Children who are orally defensive often gag on their food
• They choke easily or have difficulty sucking, chewing or swallowing
• They often over stuff their mouths with food (which then can lead to gagging or choking)
• These children do not like brushing teeth and can have a fear of the dentist and any dental procedure
• They often prefer only hot food or only cold food
• They tend to dislike toothpaste and mouthwash
• They avoid seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty food and would rather eat bland food.

If your child, like mine, seems to be orally defensive; here are some tips on how to overcome this sensitivity:

1. Forget what you learned as a child and allow your child to play with his food.
2. It might help to grind up the food that the rest of the family is having to get her used to different tastes without having to deal with different textures.
3. When you have found a favourite food, try to introduce similar foods.  If for example your little one likes cheese pizza expand his repertoire slowly by adding ham to the pizza.
4. Usually it would be seen as a bad thing, but with orally defensive children distractions like a toy or the television, can be helpful!  It draws his full attention away from what he is hesitant to do.
5. Bribery is a useful tool.  Agree beforehand that if he tastes, chews or swallow a bit of something new – he can receive an agreed upon reward. It is all in an effort to expose him to new tastes and textures.
6. A reward chart in a noticeable spot in the house can be helpful.  If he can see more and more stickers added on a chart on the fridge, he should become more confident and therefore more adventurous.
7. A limited choice will give your child a sense of control over what he puts into his mouth.
8. Try to include different textures on his plate of food, but remember to keep the portions of new foods small.
9. Give your child free reign of condiments – if he eats the peas only when covered in tomato sauce, so be it.
10. Praise, praise and praise your child even for the smallest effort. Do not scold him if he does not succeed, scolding will lead to negative associations with food.
11. Respect your child’s appetite – do not force him to eat if he is not hungry.
12. Stick to a routine where there are no snacks for at least an hour before mealtime
13. Have patience – only with repeated exposure  of new foods will you succeed.
14. Make mealtime fun! Use a cookie cutter do make different shapes, give dips with meals, or give breakfast for dinner.
15. Get your child involved in the shopping, let him choose something that he wants to try out.
16. It is important that you set the example of healthy eating habits – if you do not eat vegetables, you cannot expect it of him.
17. Sometimes healthy bits can be disguised in favourite food – who will notice the blend of carrots and baby marrow in spaghetti bolognaise?
18. Do not become a short order cook for your child.

Many parents with children that are picky eaters are worried about their child’s weight and whether they are getting in all the minerals and vitamins that they need to grow and function. A good target to set for your child is to try and cover all the food groups in one week and not in one day. If you are unsure of what a child should be having in a period of a week, here is a reminder:

• Bread, Cereal, Rice and Pasta (6 – 11 servings)
• Fruit (2 – 4 servings)
• Veg (2 – 4 servings)
• Milk, Yoghurt and Cheese (2-3 servings)
• Meat, Poultry, Fish, Dry Beans, Eggs and Nuts (2 -3 servings)
• Fats, Oils and Sweets (sparingly)

Giving a multi-vitamin, eases many parents’ worries.  If your child is growing and happy, generally there should not be anything to be worried about!

Fact: Outward appearance of your breasts does not affect a mother’s ability to produce and dispense milk to her baby. Breasts of all shapes and sizes can feed a hungry baby.

Myth 2:  Breastfeeding is a lot of effort

Fact: Once you get the hang of breastfeeding it is a lot easier that bottle feeding a baby.  Breast milk is ready when a baby needs it – it does not have to be measured or heated to the right temperature.  You do not have to pack sterilized bottles and teats and enough formula to keep your baby going for a day when you go on outings.

Myth 3:  Breastfeeding ties you down

Fact: Yes, breastfeeding is more suited for moms who plan to spend most of the time with their baby.  This does not mean, though, that working moms cannot express milk for their babies or supplement with formula feeds when she is not around.

Myth 4:  Breastfeeding will be the end of beautiful breasts

Fact: Pregnancy and not breastfeeding is to blame for the change in the shape of your breasts.  Breasts prepare for lactation whether you prepare to breast feed or not. Excessive weight gain, genes, poor support of your breasts during pregnancy and your age can add to the changes in your breasts.  Breastfeeding is not the culprit.

Myth 5:  It did not work the first time, therefore will not work the second time

Fact: Research proves that with a second child a mother will produce more milk and have an easier time breastfeeding than the first time around. Try and try again!

Myth 6:  Breastfeeding excludes the father

Fact: A father does not have to breastfeed a baby to bond with him.  Bottlefeeding, bathing, nappy changing, holding, rocking and playing provides enough opportunities for a dad to form a strong bond with his baby.

The debate between breastfeeding and bottlefeeding is ongoing with the proponents of breastfeeding pointing out the following advantages:

• The anti-bodies in breastmilk provides the baby important immunity against various illnesses like allergies, bronchitis and pneumonia.
• Breastfed babies tend to have healthier teeth and are less likely as adults to develop arteriosclerosis early in life.
• Breast milk has the advantage of being easily digested by babies and the fat in mothersmilk gets absorbed almost 100%, while on average only 80% of the fat in formula gets absorbed.
• The risk of obesity in bottlefed babies is higher than for breastfed babies.    The most commonly accepted explanation being that babies being breast fed stop sucking when they are not hungry anymore, whilst a mom bottlefeeding might believe that the bottle should be emptied.
• Breastfeeding is more practical – being more economical, always available and at the right temperature. This mother also does not to carry all the preparations necessary for bottlefeeding when leaving the house.
• Breastfeeding can give the baby an extra sense of security with the advantage of better bonding.

Their counterparts believe:

• That bottlefeeding can give a similar bond between mother and child and does not hold any negative consequences for social relationships in the future.
• It gives the mother a feeling of physical freedom which the breastfeeding mother does not have.
• Substances like tabaco, alcohol and medicines can be transferred to the baby via breastmilk. This will not happen when the baby is bottlefed.
• Some mothers cannot or do not want to breastfeed.  If these mothers can bottlefeed without the negative association with breastfeeding, the bonding process can continue unscathed.
• The threat of transferring HIV to an infant should also be considered as a potential draw-back of breastfeeding.
• It gives the working mother the opportunity to continue with her career, knowing that her child is getting sufficient nutrition.
• Babies can be affected negatively by certain foods, and may even be allergic, this impacts on the mother’s ability to choose food and can lead to alot of anxiety around food choices.

The group of people supporting bottlefeeding are not by any way saying that  breastfeeding is bad, they would just like more tolerance and respect for mothers who decide to go the route of giving their child formula.

My frustration has lead me to google tips to entice her to eat fruit and vegetables. Here is what I found, no guarantees that it will work, but I will give it a try:

1. Be a role model. If you eat fruit and veg on a daily basis (without pulling nasty faces) your child will probably over time start to imitate your healthy habits.
2. Explain the benefits of eating healthy food. If there is no reason to eat healthy food, why should they?  It is important not to dwell on the long term benefits, but rather focus on how much the broccoli will help her swim extra fast at her swimming lesson this afternoon.  I found this brilliant site which allows children to discover for themselves the benefit of good food whilst playing a computer game.  Have a look at MyPyramid Blast Off Game (http://www.mypyramid.gov/kids/kids_game.html).
3. Give them a choice. Take your child to the shops and give her the chance to choose the vegetables she is willing to try out. Having a say in the matter is a good motivator to try something new.
4. Small bites. If you haven’t tried something before, it feels safer to start off with a small bite.  If your child has not tried grapes before – start with one grape and not a bunch of grapes.
5. Availability. Make sure that the fruit and veg you want your child to eat, is always readily available.  It does not help to hide it away in the fridge while the cookie jar is on the kitchen counter.  It is important that they know that they can help themselves to it without having to ask permission.
6. The problem with snacking. All children have the odd snack here and there, try to avoid unhealthy snacks when healthier options are available. Filling up on biscuits and crackers just before dinner will not promote vegetable consumption at the dinner table.  If they really need a snack before dinner, sneak a small bite of the veg or salad  going to the dinner table to them without anyone seeing…
7. Freezing cold. Serving  frozen fruit or even vegetables on a stick might convince her to give it a try – even just because of the novelty value of it.
8. Portioning. Allow your child to dish up for herself at the dinner table.  Being able to decide on their own portions will probably lead to dishing up a bigger variety of foods, with smaller less overwhelming helpings.
9. Soups and dips. I am still to meet the child who does not like dipping a french fry into tomato sauce.  Providing dips for vegetables and fruit might just entice them to give something new a try.  Many children love soups and vegetables can easily be added without really changing the taste of old favorites.
10. Become the farmer. When children plant their own fruit or vegetables, they develop a sense of ownership and achievement.  Something so natural surely cannot be all bad?
11. Perseverance. If you want to succeed – you need to toughen up and keep on serving the same fruits and vegetables, even when you experience a great sense of rejection.  Fruit and vegetables are a acquired taste, so you have to give your little one some time.
12. Deception. If all else fails, hide vegetables in their firm favorites like spaghetti bolognaise. What they do not know will not harm them…

I hope that the tips and dips might make the road ahead easier.  Ultimately all teenage girls turn into vegetarians and then we will wonder why we went to all the trouble.

Dine Without Whine – A Family Friendly Weekly Menu Planner