How do they do it?

1. They hold the product directly to their mouths and inhale the contents.
2. A cloth can be placed over the product to act as a filter.  The contents are then inhaled through the cloth.
3. Sometimes they soak a rag with the chemical, which is then held to their face or sometimes even stuffed into their mouths, to be inhaled.

This trend is particularly disturbing as 22% of children who try it for the first time die.  Huffing is very popular under children between the ages of 12 to 14, but children as young as 6 to 8 years old have been found to”innocently” experiment with different household chemicals.  A recent study in the USA found that 20% of all 8th Graders have on one or more occasions participated in huffing.

Cardiac arrest is the most common cause of death, but children also die as a result of suffocation, burns and choking.  Due to the depression that follow the euphoria, many children commit suicide.  Children who are lucky enough not to pass away suffer a variety of different damages to their bodies:

• Permanent brain damage
• Impaired concentration
• Hearing loss
• Loss of coordination
• Lung, heart, liver and kidney damage.

Parents should be on the look out for the following signs that might indicate that your child might be abusing inhalants:

• A chemical odor on your child’s breath and clothing is one of the most tell tale signs.  Inhalants can take up to two weeks to leave the body, mostly through exhaling.
• Keep a look out for stains on your child’s clothing.
• Spots and sores around the mouth can be an indicator of abuse.
• Children who abuse inhalants are often complaining of nausea.
• They have a lack of appetite.
• Weight loss due to lack of appetite and nausea are common.
• They seem restless and nervous, and can have outbursts of anger.
• If your child seem drunk, dazed or have glassy eyes, it is important to get him to a medical practitioner immediately.

A simple preventative measure is to talk to your child about huffing.  Children are 36% less likely to try this deathly trend when their parents discuss it with them.  An open and honest relationship with your child will definitely pay off.

For a comprehensive list chemicals children abuse visit: Chemicals

In my continuous search for solutions I discovered that we get four different types of picky eaters:

• The children who do not want to try new food
• Children who will only eat certain foods
• Children who spend a long time at the table without actually eating anything and
• Children who refuse certain colours or textures when it comes to eating food.

Shock,  horror – she falls into all four categories!  Jemma will not try anything new, she will only eat starchy food and meat, she will spend an inordinate amount of time at the table to just take two bites of her food and she definitely refuses anything green and crunchy.

Oral defensiveness is apparently the leading cause of being a picky eater at the dining room table. Children who are orally defensive often exhibit some of the following signs:

• They only eat a limited variety of food
• They are extremely reluctant to try new food types
• These children only eat soft or pureed food still after the age of two
• Children who are orally defensive often gag on their food
• They choke easily or have difficulty sucking, chewing or swallowing
• They often over stuff their mouths with food (which then can lead to gagging or choking)
• These children do not like brushing teeth and can have a fear of the dentist and any dental procedure
• They often prefer only hot food or only cold food
• They tend to dislike toothpaste and mouthwash
• They avoid seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty food and would rather eat bland food.

If your child, like mine, seems to be orally defensive; here are some tips on how to overcome this sensitivity:

1. Forget what you learned as a child and allow your child to play with his food.
2. It might help to grind up the food that the rest of the family is having to get her used to different tastes without having to deal with different textures.
3. When you have found a favourite food, try to introduce similar foods.  If for example your little one likes cheese pizza expand his repertoire slowly by adding ham to the pizza.
4. Usually it would be seen as a bad thing, but with orally defensive children distractions like a toy or the television, can be helpful!  It draws his full attention away from what he is hesitant to do.
5. Bribery is a useful tool.  Agree beforehand that if he tastes, chews or swallow a bit of something new – he can receive an agreed upon reward. It is all in an effort to expose him to new tastes and textures.
6. A reward chart in a noticeable spot in the house can be helpful.  If he can see more and more stickers added on a chart on the fridge, he should become more confident and therefore more adventurous.
7. A limited choice will give your child a sense of control over what he puts into his mouth.
8. Try to include different textures on his plate of food, but remember to keep the portions of new foods small.
9. Give your child free reign of condiments – if he eats the peas only when covered in tomato sauce, so be it.
10. Praise, praise and praise your child even for the smallest effort. Do not scold him if he does not succeed, scolding will lead to negative associations with food.
11. Respect your child’s appetite – do not force him to eat if he is not hungry.
12. Stick to a routine where there are no snacks for at least an hour before mealtime
13. Have patience – only with repeated exposure  of new foods will you succeed.
14. Make mealtime fun! Use a cookie cutter do make different shapes, give dips with meals, or give breakfast for dinner.
15. Get your child involved in the shopping, let him choose something that he wants to try out.
16. It is important that you set the example of healthy eating habits – if you do not eat vegetables, you cannot expect it of him.
17. Sometimes healthy bits can be disguised in favourite food – who will notice the blend of carrots and baby marrow in spaghetti bolognaise?
18. Do not become a short order cook for your child.

Many parents with children that are picky eaters are worried about their child’s weight and whether they are getting in all the minerals and vitamins that they need to grow and function. A good target to set for your child is to try and cover all the food groups in one week and not in one day. If you are unsure of what a child should be having in a period of a week, here is a reminder:

• Bread, Cereal, Rice and Pasta (6 – 11 servings)
• Fruit (2 – 4 servings)
• Veg (2 – 4 servings)
• Milk, Yoghurt and Cheese (2-3 servings)
• Meat, Poultry, Fish, Dry Beans, Eggs and Nuts (2 -3 servings)
• Fats, Oils and Sweets (sparingly)

Giving a multi-vitamin, eases many parents’ worries.  If your child is growing and happy, generally there should not be anything to be worried about!

My children have many activities that are structured to teach them wonderful new skills for instance horse riding, music and ballet. Even though they do enjoy these activities, they have discovered a new activity that put smiles on their faces and give them a better workout than any of their other activities. Zumbatomics get their heart rates up and their feet tapping. Zumbatomics is a unique program for children from the age of 4 to 12. It combines urban dance styles with the reggaeton, hip hop and pop dancing. In no time will they find themselves singing along to Latin American music while they are learning new exciting dance moves. And most of all Zumbatomics is all about fun!

A class starts of with a fun dance that is learned in a follow the leader kind of way. All they have to do is to copy their instructor’s funky moves, which will be age appropriate. After the first dance they learn some new simple steps which will be used in a new dance. After having the opportunity to practice the moves they will be rewarded with the feeling of success when the steps get combined with the music. All the classes end of with a fun game which encourages movement and smiling!

Besides the fun aspect of Zumbatomics, there are many benefits for your child to be involved in this form of exercise:

• During a Zumbatomics session your child’s heart rate will become elevated and they will burn calories.
• It is a whole body workout. From the neck and shoulders to their feet. Zumbatomics give children a hip, abdominal, thigh and buttocks workout.
• Overall flexibility and beautiful posture will improve.
• Coordination increases. * Your child’s balance will improve.
• With every class you will notice how your child’s endurance levels increase as they become fitter.
• Children involved in Zumbatomics have faster reaction times when they participate in other forms of sport.
• Their confidence and self-esteem improves dramatically.
• These children sleep better than children who do not take part in similar exercise.
• They quickly learn to focus and concentrate.
• Children in a class get the opportunity to socialize and work together in teams.
• Even though it is fun, the class is disciplined and they have to adhere to that.
• Zumbatomics increases your child’s bone density and muscle tone.
• Your child will get the chance to express their emotions through creative movement.
• There is no form of evaluation that could make a child feel pressured to perform.
• Children start to feel the music in their bones.

So if you are trying to get your couch potato active without threats, begging and pleading – take him or her to a Zumbatomics class and never look back! Let them join the internationally growing Zumba party!

Teach your child to find a place where he will not be distracted by the TV. If he studies at a desk with a computer – the computer should be switched off. No telephone calls are to take place during the time allocated for studying. Help him to organize himself before even starting to study – get all the necessary books and stationery ready. A healthy snack before study time is always a good idea. Concentration span changes according to age – young children struggle to concentrate for more than 30 minutes, therefore it is necessary to take regular breaks. Most important of all teach your child to be interested in the material he has to master. A positive attitude is half the battle won!

Not every one learns in the same way. We get visual, auditory and kinesthetic learners. Visual learners learn more effectively with the aid of charts, maps, brainstorming and the use of colour. Auditory learners must hear the information, therefore it is good for them to read the material out loud to themselves. Kinesthetic learners have to experience the work in order to understand and remember it.

How do you know what kind of learner your child is?

Visual Learners are often

• Good at spelling
• Need quiet study time
• They need time to think about the material before they understand it
• They like colours and fashion
• They dream in color
• Like and understand charts.

Auditory Learners

• Like to read out loud to themselves
• Not afraid to speak in class
• Like oral reports
• They are good at explaining things to others
• They remember names
• Often notice sound effects in movies
• Enjoy music
• They are good at grammar and other languages
• They read slowly
• They follow spoken instructions well
• They struggle to keep quiet for long periods of time
• They enjoy acting.

Kinesthetic Learners

• They are often good at sport
• They also struggle to sit still for long periods of time
• They are not good at spelling
• They do not have the best handwriting
• They love role playing
• Like loud music
• Like science labs and experiments
• They are fidgety
• They like to build models.

If you recognize your child in any of these descriptions, it would be good to teach him to learn accordingly – using the senses that resonates with him.

There are different memorizing techniques that you can try with your child:

* Repetition – going over the material again and again until they remember.
* Associations – associate an image or experience with a fact.
* Summarize the work – try to condense the work in such a way that a phrase will unlock a series of facts.
* Acronyms – they work good for lists.
* Rhythm and music – using the body and hearing simultaneously.

Once your child has prepared for a test it is up to you as a parent to help him to feel confident about his ability to recall what he has learned. A confident child is less likely to make careless mistakes due to nervousness.

Every phase of divorce will not only challenge the adults, but also put children in a position where they have to adjust to a new ideas and routines:

• Emotional Divorce: Emotional divorce takes place when the decision is made to get a divorce.  Parents usually know when divorce becomes inevitable, but for most young children this might come as a complete shock.
• Legal Divorce: This is when the couple part ways and start their new separate lives.
  
• Economic Divorce: For most couples readjusting after divorce means a drop in income with the resulting change in lifestyle.
• C0-parenting Divorce: This is the phase of divorce where parents and children have to come to terms with the demands of divorced parenting.
• Community Divorce: Community divorce is the phase where parents and children lose friendships due to their new status as a divorcee.
• Psychic Divorce: This is the stage where the former married person adjusts to not being married anymore.  This mental shift in the parents affects children in different ways .

There is no clear timeline for the different phases of divorce, some can happen simultaneously and some not at all.

Telling the children about the impending divorce is probably one of the most difficult tasks to perform.  No matter what the age of the child, it remains a traumatic event for both parents and child alike.  The following should be taken into consideration:

• Children should only be told of the divorce once the final decision is made.
• Children should be told with both parents present – if one parent has a better relationship with the children she should be informing the children.
• It is important that no blame is allocated to one parent and that the children are not expected to choose sides.  Children should be told that even though their parents are getting divorced, they are not getting divorced from either parent.
• Children should be told about the divorce where there is no time limit on the amount of time parents have available to the children. Children will feel confused and sad and need adults at hand to answer their questions and give consolation.
• A child will worry about how his life will change – try to create realistic expectations about what the future will hold for him.
• Of utmost importance is to assure your child of your continued love for him and that he is not to blame for the divorce.

A child’s reaction to this news will differ according to age, gender and history of coping with stress.

• Younger children will probably experience divorce as more confusing and react more out due to the upset in their normal routine.  Pre-adolescent and adolescent children usually turn to their peers and tend to repress their feeling around the divorce.
• The more severe the drop in socio-economic status, the harder it is for children to adjust to post divorce life.
• The more the child is drawn into the marital conflict the more confusion, frustration, anger and loyalty conflict he will experience.
• If the parent-child relationship was bad before the divorce, it will probably deteriorate even more after divorce.
• The more conflict over parenting issues, the harder it will be for your child to adjust successfully to his new life.
• The more continued conflict between the parents the more the child will experience emotional distress which will hamper his adjustment.
• When one or both of the parents get remarried and start new families, it might leave your child wondering exactly where he is supposed to fit in.  If one parent moves on with his/her life and spend less time with the child, the child might be mourning the perceived loss of that parent.

The most beneficial tool a divorcing couple can implement is ACTIVE LISTENING.  Active listening involves not only listening to the words your child uses, but also to what is not being said and the emotions behind it.  Most children experience anger, confusion, guilt and depression as a reaction to divorce and these emotions should be addressed in order to help with his adjustment to a new home environment, social environment and school functioning.

You have lost the battle.  You have surrendered, because even as parents we do not ever lose that fluttering inside at the thought of having a puppy or kitten. It is that “awwww” feeling we get when we see babies of all different species!

There are many advantages for a child to own a pet.  Having to look after a pet – feeding, grooming and playing with him, teaches a child responsibility. A pet teaches a child how to behave appropriately towards the puppy or kitten and to allow others to also play with it.  In other words children learn socially acceptable behavior and tend to share more easily.  A pet can become a confidant, privy to their innermost secrets and fears.  These children learn to trust others and be as loyal as man’s best friend is to them.

Pets teach children some very important life lessons – for instance how to deal with birth, death and illness.  It establishes a connection and respect for nature.

These advantages are real and we do think of them over and over again, trying to reinforce the goodness of animals in your child’s life, especially when you have to clean up the puddle on the kitchen floor…

The realities of owning a pet includes:

• Food . Any animal deserves the best food available and this comes at a cost.  Whether you buy specially designed pet food or cook the food yourself – it is not free!
• Grooming . All animals need grooming, you need the right tools and time to take care of it.
• Exercise . You need the time and space to ensure that your pet gets sufficient exercise and play time with you.
• Animals grow up . All puppies and kittens grow into mature dogs and cats.  Be sure that you are willing to take care of the needs of a grown animal.  In other words when the cuteness factor diminishes you have to love and respect your maturing animal.
• Spaying or neutering . If you do not want to end up being the local pet shop, you have to consider spaying your cat or dog. Seeing the amount of homeless pets, I think it is the responsible thing to do, although it will cost you in vet bills.
• The bucket stops at you . At the end of the day, despite all the promises your child made, you have to ensure that the pet is taken care of.  Children do need reminding and supervision when it comes to taking care of a pet.  You have to teach your child to respect your pet, how to handle him and in which ways his physical needs have to be met.

Enjoy the wonder of nature and use your beloved pet to teach your child about life, love and respect.

By allowing no activities would be like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Extracurricular activities hold certain benefits for your child.  Firstly it has been shown that activities outside school make children less prone to negative peer pressure and increases their self-esteem.  It has been shown to boost academic performance, because it gives the child a sense of achievement.  Some activities, especially sport, help children with the release of frustration in a healthy way.  Social skills develop and can get honed in extracurricular activities.  Your child gets the opportunity to discover their talents, abilities and interests.

Too many activities, though, can lead to increased stress and anxiety levels.  Children who are constantly busy with structured activities experience more physical ailments than children who have enough free time. Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld believes that we as parents fall into the trap of overscheduling our children’s free time.  He says that our children fall victim to our “hyper-parenting”.  We are so scared that our children will lose out on opportunities, or not learn certain skills, or fall behind their peers that we cave into parent peer pressure. Children need free time to play, relax, read and spend time with their family. Our children have become so overscheduled that given the opportunity to do anything with their free time they do not know how to keep themselves busy.

Points to consider when deciding on extracurricular activities:

• We have to set limits to the amount of activities allowed.
• Allow your child to be involved in the decision making process.
• Consider the social, emotional and physical skills that your child can learn from this activity.
• Is the activity age appropriate?
• Most importantly – does your child enjoy this activity on a regular basis?
• Give your child enough time to be unproductive.
• Realize that there are no one correct way to parent your child.  We do not have to push our child to keep up with all the activities the Jones child is doing.
• Keep a look out for signs of stress in your child. A stressed child do not have enough down time to recuperate.
• As a rule of thumb one activity per afternoon is more than enough.
• Homework must always remain priority one and should not suffer due to outside obligations.
• Both parent and child should get enough rest to function properly throughout a week.

Remember that as a parent you have the right to put your foot down if you feel that your child is taking on too much, or that it is not affordable or even if the carting around to all the different activities is too much for you.  Your child will one day remember family moments fondly – not rushing around from one thing to the next.

Back chatting is probably an universal parental irritant.  It infuriates parents all over the globe every day. We see it as an undermining of our authority, whilst it is actually an assertion of your child’s independence.  Again, a milestone for our child, which feels like it is throwing everything that you achieved disciplinary wise up to now, upside down. You graduate from temper tantrums to only face back chatting soon…

How can we deal effectively with our children talking back to us?

1. It is important to remember the power of modeling behavior. If you consistently speak to your child the way you want her to speak to you, it will become easier for your child to imitate good communication skills.
2. It is important that both you and your child have the same understanding of what it means to “back chat”.  I think back chatting consists of two components.  The first component is repeating. This is when your child repeats the same request over and over again, despite the fact that you have already given your answer.  The second component is complaining.  Complaining about the answer or instruction you have given also counts as back chatting.
3. As a parent you have to be able to ignore requests to change your answer.  If you give in to back chatting your child has won the battle, and will in future carry on until you give in again.
4. Positive communication and acceptance of instructions and answers should consistently be praised.  Ensure that the positive attention starts to outweigh the negative attention that follows on back chatting.

We live in a society where we expect our children to express themselves as individuals, to give opinions and debate issues – we therefore cannot expect of them to behave differently in the house.  This does not mean that they can determine their own rules or not listen to us as parents, we are after all the authority bearers in the house.  I believe that parents should be willing to hear a child’s reasons for not agreeing with an answer or instruction out completely, before making a final determination.  As parents, we should also be big enough to admit and reconsider when our child’s arguments are valid and we find we did not think our answer through completely.  Lastly, we should have the determination to stick consistently to a well deserved “no”.

Certain rules should be adhered to when going into a discussion around a decision:

• If your child is not happy with a decision, they are not allowed to become rude in any way what so ever.
• No screaming, yelling and name calling is allowed under any circumstances.
• Everyone should be allowed to finish their sentences.
• No sarcasm is allowed from any party.
• When the parent says that it is the end of the discussion, no more arguments or complaining will be tolerated.

Tips for dealing with back chatting:

• Stop the conversation as soon as your child becomes disrespectful.  Walk away, come back later and enforce the consequences of talking back to you as parent.
• Consequences can be time-out, fines, revoking of privileges or toys, etc.
• Explain to your child why certain phrases are disrespectful – we should not automatically assume they understand phrases in the same manner as we do.
• Sometimes it is helpful to give a choice, but then you have to refrain from allowing a third option.
• Consequences of repeated back chatting should increase in seriousness.

Teaching your child these principles in the home, will benefit her in school, friendships, relationships and future employment.  Good luck, nobody said it was going to be easy!

I believe the most important way to prepare a youngster for school is to take the unknown out of the equation.

• Meeting the teacher before hand as well as seeing the classroom will make it more familiar on the first day of school.
• A primary school is very big to a six year old, explain that it takes time to get to know the school and that her teacher will help them in the beginning until they know their way around the school.
• Explain to her what they will do during a normal school day, it might be useful to get an older sibling to help explain to her what to expect.
• Explain that there will be  two breaks in the day when they can play outside.
• Tell her when assembly takes place, where it takes place, who will be there and what they will be doing during this time.
• Tell her that they will sometimes go to other classes like the computer centre, the music centre and the library.
• Assure her that you (or someone she knows well) will be there to pick her up at the end of the school day.

Give your child the opportunity to ask questions and take time to answer them in full.

Give your child the chance to participate in the build up to the first day of school.  Let her be there when you buy the school uniform, stationery and other essentials.  Allow her to choose her lunch box and bottle.

First day of school only comes once in a life time and we should emphasize that everything they do at school will be enjoyable!

We expect the following skills from a child that should be able to cope in a public school classroom:

Language Development:

• She should know some nursery rhymes
• Can use expressive and receptive language
• Can follow instructions
• Able to produce the different sounds of a language, in other words have command of a language
• Can put sentences together to make herself understood
• Able to take turns in a conversation.

Pre-reading Skills:

• Can name basic colours
• Know the letters of the alphabet
• Know the names and sounds of letters
• Be able to recognize their written name
• Have print awareness (She knows how to hold a book and that we read from left to right)
• Have an interest in books and reading.

Cognitive Skills:

• Understand the concept of size – bigger and smaller
• Know opposites
• Can build jigsaw puzzles
• Can master sequencing cards
• Can pay attention and plan the execution of an activity
• Know different shapes
• Can copy patterns
• Know position in space – above, below, in front, behind, etc.
• Can persist in challenging task
• Able to categorize objects
• Have a degree of intellectual curiosity.

Numeracy:

• Can count up to at least 10
• Understand the concepts of counting, sorting and grouping
• Know the different times of day – morning, afternoon and night

Social Skills:

• Knows how to ask for something
• Can share
• Can take turns
• Able to listen quietly
• Can relate appropriately to adults and peers.

Physical Skills:

• Can use the bathroom on her own
• Can blow her nose
• Can wash her hands
• Able to catch and throw a ball
• Can balance on 1 foot for a certain time
• Able to walk up and down stairs
• Able to use scissors, pencils and crayons
• Able to stack blocks
• Can hop
• Can use a knife and fork to eat
• Able to cross her midline.

Emotional Skills:

• Can ask for help
• Realize that she cannot always get her own way
• Able to manage anger and frustration
• Can work independently
• Can cope with criticism and failure
• Able to separate from a caregiver
• Able to effectively express her feelings and needs
• Hold her own in a group activity
• Able to postpone the need for immediate gratification.

This checklist should give you an indication if your child is school ready.

A child’s first year in school is extremely important, because it is the first building block for the following 11 years. I believe that it is important that it should be a positive experience, where the child is adequately equipped to manage in the classroom, with many success experiences. When they are able to do something, it becomes enjoyable to do it.

Good luck for Grade 1!